You want to be married? Spouse, 2.5 kids with a house enclosed by a white picket fence? Yeah, I get it. I really do. Hell, I'm married. However, sometimes it's necessary to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are doing things that could be postponing your desired nuptials. Where does the inspiration for this post come from? A mixture of past experiences (i.e. mistakes), observing others and conversations with family and friends.
If you get offended by any one (or more items) don't get mad at the messenger. Relax. Reflect. Remix if needed. This is Taboo Tuesday. You knew from the title what you were getting yourself into.
1. You Do Way Too Much on Social Media
Side profile pictures to show off your plump tush ladies? Or how about the gentleman whose cameras only seem to work when they're shirtless at the gym or fresh out the shower? Please whatever you do, don't quote lyrics from love songs. You are not and never will be Drake, so stop it. Like now. Who wants to spend their life with someone who seeks attention from the likes of Facebook and Instagram. If your followers and flirty replies/comments outnumber your list of suitors, it may be time to leave a bit more to the imagination.
2. You Have Unresolved Mommy/Daddy Issues
Let me guess. Your mother relied on men to take care of her and now you think all women all gold diggers? Get over it. You didn't grow up with your father being involved in your life and now that's why you jump from one relationship to the next? Girl bye. Stop making excuses. No one can replace or fix parental issues. My father was absent for most of my life and you know who's at fault for my dumb ass relationship choices Pre-Ryan? Me. If your parents didn't live up to your expectations, now would be a good time to let it go.
3. You Have Unresolved Issues From Past Relationships
Ugh. I really don't think it's necessary for me to go too deep into this one. Don't make the "next" pay for the mistakes and hurt of the "last." Take a break in between relationships to shake that shit off. Ain't nobody got time for your baggage.
Oh yeah, one more thing. All men are not alike. All women are not alike. Now you may be continuously choosing the same type of mate over and over, but again who's at fault?
4. There Are No Limits to Your Love
The Bible says and I quote "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." So yes fellas, it is your job to pursue and court the woman.
But to all in the ladies in the place with style and grace... Wait, this not where I was going with this.
Ladies stop giving up the kitty kat. Stop moving in with your boyfriends. Don't make him your #MCM when he ain't made you his #MRS. Don't give boo, bae or boyfriend privileges and benefits like that of husband. Think of it this way. If you gave EVERYTHING to EVERYONE, what do you have left to give when you become someone's wife?
5. You Are Expecting Marriage to Complete You or Bring You Insane Amounts of Happiness
I am married and love every minute of it, the good, bad and the weekly laundry. However, I was happy before I got married. I had a career, friends, hobbies and dreams way before Mr. BrownEyez walked into my life. I was complete prior to changing my last name because I am a child of God. I was happy before I got married, again, because I am a child of God. Ryan adds to my happiness tremendously, but he is not the source of it.
It is not the job of your spouse to fill a void in your life. Why put that type of pressure on someone else? That's unfair and selfish. Take the time to become whole before you try being someone's better half.
Like I stated this is TABOO TUESDAY. Take what I say with a grain of salt or don't take it at all. Leave your thoughts in the comment section below. I would love to hear from you