Blooming Again at Mounts Botanical Garden: Rebuilding My Confidence as a Solo Parent
After battling severe postpartum depression about a year and a half after the birth of my daughter, something in me slowly started shifting around mid-2019. I can’t explain it perfectly, but it was like I finally started to find my groove as a new mom and as a solo parent.
We started going to church on Sundays. We started showing up to those tiny toddler events in the community. You know the ones with bubbles and finger paint. We just started doing things. And little by little, I became more okay with going places by myself. Just me and my daughter. It was the beginning of feeling like, okay, maybe I can do this.
And that’s really where this trip to Mounts Botanical Garden in 2021 symbolized for me. Because even back then, I knew I wanted to experience a life of joy no matter what my income looked like, no matter how chaotic things felt behind the scenes. I wanted to live each day beautifully. And honestly… what’s more beautiful than a garden? What’s more grounding than walking through a place full of color and life and creation, especially when you feel like you’re rebuilding yours?
When I think about the ways I rebuilt my confidence as a solo parent, a few things stand out:
I strengthened my roots in God:
I had to constantly remind myself Whose I am. Not who I am but Whose. That reminder steadied me every time I felt overwhelmed or forgotten.
This meant spending more time reading His word, daily devotionals and listening to church sermons on YouTube.
I redefined my definition of “family:”
I’m not new to the idea of a non-nuclear family. I grew up with a single mom and my two sisters. Still, when it came to my own daughter, I struggled at first to believe that just the two of us could be a whole family. I kept thinking we needed more people, more pieces, more something.
But over time, I started to see the beauty in our little duo… the way we laughed, the way we learned each other, the way we showed up for one another. It took time, but I began to understand that family isn’t measured by numbers. It’s measured by love, presence, and the life you build together, even if it starts with only you and your child.
I Started Honoring My Portion Again:
Another part of rebuilding my confidence came from learning how to truly steward my portion. Not in a rigid or restrictive way, but in a way that honored what God had given me in that season.
That’s where this budgeting template I’ve been using since 2018 came in. It wasn’t just about numbers, it was about practicing faithfulness with the little I had. I’m still on my journey back to tithing (that’s a story for another post), especially after my marriage pulled me off track from it for a while.
But even in that space of starting over, I noticed how much lighter I felt when I treated my finances as something sacred, something I could grow with intentionality. Becoming a good steward didn’t make everything perfect overnight, but it made me feel grounded… like I was partnering with God in rebuilding my life piece by piece.
I made a list of the things I wanted to do and then did them at the scale I could manage:
I dream of traveling the world. I dream of visiting rainforests and faraway places. But back then? My scale was different. So I started in my own “backyard,” in places like Mounts Botanical Garden. Living out your dreams each day doesn’t have to wait for perfect timing or perfect finances.
I built my community, my village, little by little.
It wasn’t glamorous or perfectly organized; it was just me showing up in the same places until people started to feel familiar. From our daycare-now- turned-summer-camp, to the supermarket where I know the butcher, the manager, and half the staff by name… those small connections made my days feel lighter. Over the years, I’ve kept the same seamstress and the same handyman who are honest, trustworthy, and still offering me fair prices even as everything else has inflated around us. And even in my own neighborhood, I’ve learned to lean in. I’ve borrowed ladders, checked in during hurricanes, and slowly allowed myself to belong. It’s funny how confidence grows when you stop trying to do life alone and start noticing the people God quietly places around you.
As I look back at those photos from Mounts Botanical Garden, my daughter tiny, the sun warm, the colors louder than the fear I used to carry, I realize the garden wasn’t just a place we visited. It was a mirror. A reminder that things grow again. That I grow again.
And the truth is, I didn’t become a confident solo parent overnight. I still have days where I teeter, where the old doubts tug at me. But remembering these core things helps bring me back to center. My faith pulls me in. My portion grounds me. Our little duo reminds me we are enough. My village surrounds me. And choosing to live my dreams at the scale I could manage keeps me from forgetting how far we have come. All of it steadies me and reminds me that God and I have rebuilt too much for me to shrink now.
Maybe that is why this trip still means so much to me. It was one of the first days I felt myself blooming again, not perfectly, not fully, but enough to believe that our little life could be beautiful too.
Love your life. Live your style. One tender, faithful step at a time.
